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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

i'm having crazy irrational anxiety attacks lately.
i mean, i used to have them only at that particular place, thinking those particular thoughts.
but now, i'm like having them so frequently it scares me hardcore.
i'd shiver. =

HAHA. Allegory of Perpetual Ladders. ever thought about how everyone who'll ever exsist is in a race.? not a horizontal race, and the distance covered doesnt determine who wins or loses everyone is on a ladder, and no one is capable of seeing the tops no matter how far they can see or how far they can manage before they're removed. everyone slips, but we climb nonetheless.
some people seem to slip quite a bit, but most keep climbing. once you slip, you're less likely to slip for the same reason again in the future, and sometimes, falling a bit is necessary before you can be satisfied with your location on your ladder.
some people seem to have climbed very high, but nobody knows for sure how far down the bottom their ladder is, in comparision to anyone elses, so such judgements are irrelevant.
a lot of people dont know why we climb, but some realize that being further up than where they were yesturday is better somehow.
those people are usually the winners. when they're removed, they're the ones that made the effort to make relative progress, even if all the ladder-climbers in sight were always higher up.
even when they're removed, they know they were strong.


^^ so here in front of the computer i sit, eating msg laden instant noodles( kuay chap to be exact ), and talking crap. wells, it makes sense to me... dont know about you. but maybe its a little harsh/cold/desolate to describe life in this manner. but hey. at least i'd keep climbing. :)

she's not here @

3:10 PM