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Monday, December 18, 2006

i dont want another heartache
cant stand another heartbreak


some ppl wish so hard for smth good, but they never got it.
they'll never get it.
i've learnt not to want/wish/hope for anything good, cos everytime i do, i'll get the exact opposite.


everytime i yearn for rain, the sun'll be there to mock me; shining even stronger.
everytime i start thinking 'OMG! i've held this wallet for many months and i havent lost it!', right the next day, it'll be gone.


God, why are you always trying to prove me wrong.?
is it because you wnat to see my reaction.?
or my devastation.?
or is it my reaction when i'm devastated.?!
or are you dying to see wad stupid thing i'll do.?


Thats why, i'd rather think negatively and spend the whole day/week/month fretting over it, and then jump for joy when i'm proven wrong.
i'd wish for sun when i yearn for rain.
i'd get paranoid over my little possessions; my wallet, handphone..
i've lost everything i deem impt so many fucking times that i dont know wad to feel anymore.
i really dont. i dont feel sad, or angry... but hopeless. just hopeless.


ok thats beside... or part of the point... everytime i think about it, i cant believe its all over. just. like. that. maybe i'm living in denial. but i dont care. its like life suddenly lost its meaning. and i still cant get over it. i cant convince myself its over. its OVER. =((((((((((((( i wish this rain will last forever.

i like to bathe in freezing cold water so that when i step out of the bathroom, i'd feel toasty and warm.

she's not here @

11:04 PM