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Friday, May 30, 2008

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WARNING: self- absorbed rantings below. if you have a problem with my posts being too emo and would really like to lecture me on how immature i am but too bad i have no tagboard whatsoever, i highly suggest you either close you eyes now, or visit other websites like cottoncandy.com. thx
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my heart is hurting.
internal claustrophobia i think (in my body there is a blackhole. gravity pulls mass into core, collapsing into self, forming a singularity)
all your thoughtless words like daggers
pierce right through my chest.
"its just a trivial matter, right.? is there a need to over-react.."
sure, shift all the blame to me like you always do.
its always my fault, i never understand.
trivial.
and even after you're done trashing me
even after i concede defeat
you wouldnt even allow me to crawl back into solitude
to seek my teeniest bit of solace.
you accuse me of having a huge ego
fuck you who's the one.
prideful, arrogant bastard.
***
& you...
i honestly cant tell you how much it hurts
but i cant bring myself to tell you yes i want you there so bad..
i cant possibly be this selfish,
already i cant thank you enough for being so kind.
and of course i know i've always known:
in this world full of selfish people,
being selfless is slow suicide.
i can already feel this play unwind.

i know how it ends now.

she's not here @

12:21 AM