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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Chantal, this is for you(ha ha;) :

"- I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love's not impersonal yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But i am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I'll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with objective curiosity all the time..."
-- Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

i should really put my mind down to writing my ki essay. i know about Kant now, goddamn, he is a genius. crazy, crazy man. his ideas might have cost him his head back then, because they are akin to a Copernican Revolution in the philosophical world. he makes Locke and Hume sound naive. my, my.. i cannot imagine such a dangerous man with such mind-blowing brilliance.

feeling stoned and dreading school tomorrow, i feel close to ditching the entire promotional exams in a fit of rebellion. i have angsty, riotous, violent feelings bubbling up within me, threatening to exploit the areas that are not stitched up quite right.

speaking of right- how is it that the moral sense of "right" and "wrong" are ingrained in us..? we know what we should and shouldn't do without anyone really teaching us. maybe i am speaking from the viewpoint of a grown person, but i think we do have in our hearts a moral obligation. after living for a while, we quickly learn that it is perhaps unwise to be too good(although we really should), because the too-good people always stand to lose. (i doubt our do-gooders will be remembered as one in the ranks of our Justice League, rather, a righteous geeky John Doe. am i assuming here..) my point is that while our actions are sometimes below ideal, we still do have a moral standard in our heart, and also a sense of duty and obedience towards this moral standard. what i wonder about is why..? this is where i am not completely bought over by Kant's Critique of Practical Reason, that this must postulate the existence of a God. i find this a non sequiter, like Descartes' false deduction in his Meditations that a perfect being must exist.. brave ideas though.

now that i mentioned Justice League. Marvel Comics is bought over by Disney...??? whattt..!??

what is the measure of love..?
it seems we cannot feel love directly, but what we use to gauge love is sincerity and effort.
a showing of how much this other person's happiness means to you, a want to share all things beautiful with this other person.(and then do it, because intentions, i tell you, don't even leave a residue unto this world.)

"be damn good friends and date for a lifetime but don't, ever, get together."

she's not here @

9:01 PM