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Friday, July 23, 2010

Dear Anne Marie,

I just want to tell you that I miss you badly, I am forever plagued by guilt and sorrow that things between us couldn't have turned out better.. I don't know what brought about this episode, maybe it is due to an overdose of sad songs that I keep listening. Regardless. I wish you all the best Anne Marie.. (I don't like how I've started to call you Anne like everyone else. I hated it.) it seems that you and I both have moved on. I don't know if you have, I'm not going to assume anything. Perhaps you find me quite cold/heartless (or are you indifferent towards me now?) but I think you know that I've always been quite a cat? It's sad, when I think about it, that we're not the "flare-up-then-make-up" bimbo type (think Paris/Nicole-esque), we're just so....... Very very quite about tuis whole affair.. It seems a kind of unspoken despair or resignation? Like something died between us, and now we're so broken and unmendable. It's like the kind of sympathetic pseudo-familiarity that people give each other at funerals. Like I want to go over to comfort you and hug you tight when you look so down (almost everyday??) but somehow I feel I don't have (have lost) that right anymore. And it gets so painful, when instead of being able to confide on me when you have troubles, you have to force yourself to smile and be bubbly around me. It makes me feel that I have become your liability. I'm not good at expressing my emotions and such... But I miss you, Anne Marie, with such an intensity. I only wish I could tell it to you.

she's not here @

12:34 PM