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Thursday, July 07, 2011

drowsy without a coffee. i wonder if its terrible to allow something external control one's functionality so thoroughly.. if this is considered an enslavement, a restriction of freedom (or whatever bodily freedom we were initially born with)? but therein provides a comfort; slipping into my little daily routines, a coffee when i start my day, then i count five hours till my next coffee. and when i sip it i think: this keeps me awake, this keeps me sane.

8:08pm

so i read that one shouldn't try to write, or try to be creative.
don't try at all.
let it come to you, like a breeze across the sea, like a storm over the earth.
that's what i do now: open a blank page, and write only when it comes.

8:15pm

"there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but i'm too tough for him,
i say, stay down, do you want to mess me up?"

8:24pm

(you don't have to sympathise)

12.17am

i don't know you, but i care about you, now tell me, do you find that strange?
the way you sometimes lock my eyes and smile (twice, intentionally)
makes me feel worried for feeling a little bit special in case i've mistaken.
thinking about you more than i should, rehearsing what to say when i next see you, wondering if you'll miss me too..
i lose.

12.27am

grab a beer and disappear, with me

1.13am

she's not here @

7:55 PM