Crush

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Her pistol screamed no bullets. Instead, death's song poured out, and the last things the buildings of people heard were a diminuendo in a minor key and the flicker of sympathetic stars.

she's not here @

6:45 PM

if i've been indifferent, that means i've been tormented by yours...

if you try your best to hold on to smth for so long, so hard...
and you finally realise that it wasnt worth it
and you aint feeling any happier,
only more upset
and it starts affecting you in every adverse way
and you get depressed over it
and you start wondering if everything that happened in the past was just but a lie
and you get so mentally drained you cant concentrate on anything else
and everytime you think about it you feel like crying
and you try so hard to convince yourself you think too much

only to realise that the person making you feel so screwed up-

doesnt even care;
doesnt even give a fuck...

at this point of time, you should let go, right.?
but what if you try so hard, and cant let go.?

she's not here @

6:23 PM

Sunday, January 21, 2007

ouchywawa
i think someone hated me and punched me hardcore in the ribs like nobody's business.
they all feel badly bruised. :D

i hope no matter what happens
as much as i enjoy
and as much as i regret
we would all stay the same
and nothing would change
you all as i would.
this uncalled for event
should never have the right
to change joy into prejudice
lets allow this instead
to wake us from the dead
and we shall all put this aside
to enjoy life once again.

so raise your glass high
for tomorrow we die
and return from the ashes you call

she's not here @

2:27 PM

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

:D thankyou
its called a higher level of new found respect

ok. i'm a bit slow. but who cares rgt.
i'm chosen as OAL!!! :DDD
i'm happy of course.. but... aiya
and i'm ORIENTEERING UNDERSTUDY.
LOL!!! wonder why they chose me!
hahaha i remember i didnt do very well for orienteering test.
in fact, i flunked it like shit. xD
and i dont really know how to use a compass.
and when i do, i dont get answers right. HAHA.
GOSH. wad a failure!
but i think i should feel fortunate, cos afterall,
not everyone can be understudy...
what must understudy do anyway.? LOL.

she's not here @

10:18 PM

Thursday, January 11, 2007

i've been pondering a likely possibilty lately...
that maybe i dont have talent in art afterall...
ahh wadever. i dont really care anymore. ok maybe i do.

*** hip hip hooray for me, you talk to me
but would you kill me in my sleep
lay still like the dead
from the razor to the rosary
we could lose ourselves
and paint these walls in pitchfork red

i will avenge my ghost with every breath i take
i'm coming back from the dead and i'll take you home with me
i'm taking back the life you stole

this hole that you put me in
wasnt deep enough
and i'm climbing out right now
you're running out of places the hide from me
when you go
just know that i will remember you
if living was the hardest part
we'll then one day be together
and in the end we'll fall apart
just as the leaves changing colours
and then i will be with you
i will be there one last time now

when you go
just know that i will remember you

i lost my fear of falling
i will be with you
i will be with you

its not a fashion statement, its a deathwish.

she's not here @

5:16 PM

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

ohhkayyy.
my OAL interview was yesterday,
and i badly need to relax soon or i'll die from anxiety attacks.
i'd probably die waiting for the results anyway..
:(
then again maybe i dont wanna see the results.
ok wait. i DO.
argh. i just hope i didnt screw up.
pretty please... lets just get this over and done with...
can i rejoice.? or not...?

she's not here @

9:57 PM

Monday, January 08, 2007

I'M A HAPPY GIRL TODAY!!!
but i'm gonna be damn freaked out, and maybe very sad tmr. :(
haha. cheers, my friends!

maybe i rely too much on your presence.
maybe i'm just being naive.
but i cant help it, really.
you're like my heroin.
i know i gotta quit.
but it aint that easy.
maybe i'll never suceed.
maybe i dont even wanna try.
maybe i dont wanna break you-
my habit.

she's not here @

8:57 PM

Saturday, January 06, 2007

what if i wanted to break
laugh it all off in your face...
what would you do.?

what if i fell to the floor
couldnt take this anymore...
what would you do.?

come- break me down
bury me, bury me
i am finished with you...
look- in my eyes
you're killing me, killing me
all i wanted was you

i think i'm going bonkers. three times i uncapped a bottle of liquid washing detergent and wanted to use it as shampoo. xD a hardworking snail'd take approx. 5 mins to cross the entire length of a red BRICK. a lazy snail'd take 10. =.= no wonder they cant save themselves from an on-coming foot. haha. i'm random again.
what if i wanted to break.?

she's not here @

1:50 PM

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

late dawns and early sunsets
just like my favourite scenes
then holding hands and life was perfect
just like up on the screens

and the whole time while always giving
counting your face among the living...

up and down escalators
movies and colder fountains
elevators and half-priced sales
trapped in by all these mountains

running away and hiding with you
i never thought they'd find me here...
not knowing you'll change from just one bite
i fought them all out just to hold you close and tight...

*but does anyone notice?
but does anyone care?
and if i have the guts to put this to your head
but would anything matter if you're already dead...
and should i be shocked now by the last thing you said.?
before i pull this trigger
your eyes vacant and stained
(*)

**and in saying you love me...
make things harder at best
and if one thing to nothing
let your body remain...
and there's no room in this hell...
there's no room in the next...
and our memories defeat us
and i'll end this direst
(*) (**)

but does anyone notice;
there's a corpse in this bed...?

she's not here @

10:24 PM

Monday, January 01, 2007

as turbulence rattled the plane,
our ears popped in our heads and our hearts dropped with every sudden descend;
we sat in our seats asleep with mild discontent
wondering if we'll ever get out of this alive

haha ok. can the melodrama. if yall dont alr know, I'M BACK FROM HONG KONG!!! about 3 dasy ago. xD
lol. hong kong wasnt bad! great cool weather and no rain!! we went to many places we havent been to the last time like aberdeen, repulse bay, disneyland, stanley market, and we even saw JACKY CHAN'S HOUSE!!!( it was like a CASTLE on the dragon's head of repulse bay.. some feng shui thing... and down the neck was his garage- a four storey multi-storey carpark that looked like a TEMPLE to house his 200 over cars. HAHA. castle, temple... he's mad. xD)

ABERDEEN
i wouldnt recommend this unless you're filthy rich, have a lot of money to spare, or by any chance own a money printing machine. really. it consists of a boat ride to supposedly tour the area of their " shui shang ren" or people who live, eat, sleep in their houses on the water. but according to my dad, now its just for show.. the poeple dont really live there anymore ( i was too sleepy and slept the entire boat ride. xD hey it was really cooling! couldnt resist. haha) one boat ride per person would cost you HK$50. lol. we had to pay HK$250 for 5 persons in the family, and we only knew that AFTER the boat ride was finished, so we felt extorted. HAHA. oh wells.

DISNEYLAND
Disneyland was... err....boring.. -.- boring as hell... they didnt have any big thrilling rollercoasters one would expect in a big theme park.. infact, their ONLY rollercoaster was uber anti-climax and boring!!!RARR. and everything there was expensive.. like one can of coke'll cost you HK$ 25, which is approx. S$5. madness.. -.- and there wasnt anough things to last us till 6.30pm, when we were supposed to gather adn return to hotel.. whereas in disneyland LA, we had a ONE-WEEK PASS and it was barely enough. esp cos i've been to disneyland LA, disneyland HK was like a miniature.. lol

STANLEY MARKET
stanley market's good!! smth like lady's street, only more things to shop, cos all the factory outlets are there.. clothes, bags... wadever you want.. haha. but we didnt have enough time la! stupid tourgroup. wanna go, go free and easy. really.

FOOD!
know wad.? I DIDNT EAT SMELLY TOFU!!!! argh.. cant believe it... but hey. we ate new stuff RECOMMENDED BY YOURS TRULY!!! its......... *drumroll* STEAMED MILK! omg go try!! its really good! smth like touhua (beancurd) but better! loved it uber loads! even my sis who hates milk loved it okay. shop name's YEE SHUN MILK COMPANY. haha GO!
and hongkong's ROAST GOOSE... omgggg
the dim sum we ate this time wasnt as good as the one we ate last time at HOI DU. or HAI DU. samasama.. but i love hk PRAWN!! super fresh, super nice!! (sorry. too overwhelmed by the thought of food that i cant think of any other adjectives) ARGHHH. i'm hungry. -.-
but just make sure, that if you go jumbo floating restaurant (as we did) order some REAL SEAFOOD. my god. the food we ate there was... -.- no comments. the onl seafood we had were fried up fish and some seafood balls that was so HARD we could play ping pong with it... overrated man. and their service was bad. my mum's boss (it was a company trip) asked for some chili, and they made him pay $27. crazy. haha.

VICTORIA PEAK or THE PEAK
TOO BAD, ppl who never went there long before! cos they re-renovated that place AGAIN, and now, imho, its not nice anymore. -.- they build so many shopping centres here adn there that i couldnt recognise it anymore.. and the viewing area became so fking small that it so crowded you cant enjoy the view in peace (there was no view. only a smear of grey). and you gotta thank asshole smokers for destroying the nice cool refreshing weather up there. damnit. and the minimelts vending machine issnt there anymore!!! RARR. haha. the last time we went, the weather was so cold, but we were up there happily eating ice-cream. people who saw us thought we were mad la. HAHA. those days were more fun. hong kong's night view is so much nicer! ( we commented that hongkongers wont ever be happy until they line and decorate every building with neon lights. and how right were we. xD)

ok thats all.! hong kong is still a place worth going, and when you return to singapore, you will for sure as hell miss the cooling weather! its like natural air-con! in winter, its probably 20/19degreesC by day, 17-15 by night. even the departmental stall's air-cons are warmer than the outside fresh air...! just remember to bring your lipgloss. (you will thank me for this tip, really.) and also, they sell MALTEASERS real cheap in watsons. HAHA. and dont forget steamed milk. ^^
TATA.

she's not here @

3:54 AM

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS OR FOES. cos i cant be bothered to dislike ppl again. haha.
so this year started with a bang.!
a bang of rain. -.-
like wtf. we went to see fireworks and climbed all the way up the highway bridge at marina when it RAINED. we walked such a long way can.
so we walked back to marina square, and after we did, the rain STOPPED.
so we decided not to walk back up, adns ettle behind marina square instead.
my mum said there'll be fireworks at 11.30pm, and so did everyone else...
so finally at 11.30, there was a display of fireworks!!! for about 2 seconds, and the sky was empty again. -.- second wtf.
so nvm... we watched a balloon display instead. (there were ppl letting bunches and bunches of balloon in the sky, which i thought would be emo-er if they were red..)
at 1200mn, the real firework display finally started!!! and it lasted for 7 mins... sigh 3rd wtf.
we waited so long, to watch a display of 7 mins 2 secs. and had to get involved in the ginormous jam that took us over 1hr to get out of marina square... pretty dumb aye.?
but happy new year anyway! x)

she's not here @

2:56 AM