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Sunday, August 31, 2008

lately, i've gotten more involved in the lives of three people, namely chloe, jonas and kayfong, who have transcended the invisible boundary of being mere primary school friends to now, a current group of friends who practise unhealthy rituals such as the one yesterday:
played pool (gawd i need to brush up on my skills)
chomp chomped (yeah seafood fiesta!)
drinking+chilling outz (beer is not too bad :)

this is the programme for our usual day of hanging out. sinful!
i am extremely glad to form the core of this group of friends; as we choose the people to embrace or scorn, there would always be a less dispensable constant and i'd be part of it.

yesterday was Teachers' Day, yes i actually visited my primary school.
met my beloved english, maths and pe teachers!!! augghhhh i missed them! brings back fond memories. :)
very few of my primary schoolmates returned to visit, a conversation between claudia and shi jia struck me..
(we were parting ways)
claudia: bye-bye!
shi jia: yeah bye, see you next year!
zzzzomg. i realised that this has been a popular trend among primary school friends; like an invisible boundary that separates each stage of our lives, we do not bring our primary school friends along when we proceed to the next.
what a shame! and to shi jia, i doubt we will see each other next year, seeing as by then we will all be visitting our secondary schools while commiting our primary schools to memory. dear, dear memories...

she's not here @

12:52 AM

Thursday, August 28, 2008

today was fun, prelim has ended! okay i am one day late.
went swimming with ly and gyl as soon as i woke up, the new swimming complex= awesome! and it is just a stone's throw away from my place, like, literally. i need a really strong thrower tho. lol
pictures! (ly went home earlier)
preedy slides..
lol stupid people
its raining!!! i am a flower, yl is being shawshank redeemed. lol
it is still raining, i am still a flower, yl is now showing off her underarm.

rollerblading with gyl at night!
yl pretending to go really fast
we are so not there
okay we are
yl jumped in from the first floor
caressing the lamp post
Y
i'll give myself this entire week to relax, then after that its back to books, books, art, art, art.

she's not here @

10:05 PM

Monday, August 25, 2008

A thousand passing Suns
Each new dawn that comes
brings not a fresh start but reruns
of the same ancient tragedy,
written by ourselves;
embedded in a seed, dispersed by
a cyclic wind, that delves
deep into the harrowing ground
and emerges one too frequently,
our mistakes played on loop
We never grow numb only
increasingly decrepit and broken;
a reflection of Perriot's plaintive stare,
as Harlequin sticks out his slapstick
A recurring nightmare,
and he stumbles yet again at Columbina's feet.

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she's not here @

3:57 PM

Sunday, August 24, 2008

as it turned out, i had to attend the wedding afterall.
a good five hour wasted, but it was helluvan awesome wedding!
CONGRATULATIONS Rick & Deborah!!!
buffet lunch at Conrad was great; lavish spread, free flow wine(i was the happiest), pan-fried foie gras with orange peel sauce and mustard.. woohooo!
then there was the dashing (aussie) groom and his charming friends, not forgetting the blushing bride;
life band playing classic hits (at one point of time, Donovan, brother of bride sang!), and a dancefloor..
too bad Singaporeans dont have a culture of dancing. we're much too shy, the aussies dominated the dance floor. ha ha

wells. chiong art ah!!!!!!!!!!

she's not here @

1:20 PM

Saturday, August 23, 2008

here's how to have breakfast the Cheryl way! (gross-looking, sinful, but yummehhh) LoL..
1) cook eggs
flower eggs! :D (below: semi-blind)
2) mash them all up and add a whisk(or two) of light sauce, to form this disgusting concoction..
3) USE ONLY PREMIUM LIGHT SOY SAUCE OR THIS:
TO EAT: scoop spoonfuls of said disgusting concoction onto white bread, then eat it.
4) of course, get your favourite drink
5) read a chapter of your favourite book.
6) we all need music :D oh yes, I BOUGHT NEW EARPHONES!!!
Philips Bubble. pretty pink!! heh

they say that these are inner ears, but they aren't ear-pluggish so i dont know what inner ears are anymore.. but they're comfy! LURV the sharing adapter. :)))

k off to do art. if my breakfast meal kills you in the long run, please dont kill me. :D

she's not here @

10:40 AM


HAHAHAHA GAWD i just watched an episode of 'Totally Kyle' from Annette's blog and its like, DAMN FUNNYZXZXZ!!!!!111!!11!1
i didnt know that Kyle is DRAKE from Drake&Josh kz!

... So one time, i was like, lying on my bed, staring at........ Nuthin'..? (gives look of distress),
and there was this spider, it was..... on top of my head.... blah blah blah ha ha

kkk i should be sleeping right now so that i can wake up bright and early tmr morning to do frickin' art cos i have done ONE, yes singular, sketch so far and art paper two is in four days i am so dead because i dont know if i will be attending a wedding tmr we all know weddings are extremely time consuming i sound like i'm panicking but really i am not i am calmly sitting in front of my computer when i SHOULD at least panic a little okay i am i just dont appear that way my sentences are lacking punctuations because my thoughts come in a string of incoherence my english is disgusting and will not get better with rw as my teacher(nobody tell her) GAWD now i'm digressing i should really stop k how how how where are my gnome friends K REALLY bye.

she's not here @

2:12 AM

Friday, August 22, 2008

The sky, it seems, mourns with me.
Insipid; it's blue linen washed grey, enshrouding the city and it's oblivious denizens with a
gloom, entwined with the threads in the fabric of life.

Bleakness manifested itself in physical form today.

Who drew a curtain across the Sun?
What audacity... Surrender yourself!

We know: this is how the world should look like,
because this is how the world is.
We know, and we're angry.

Hope arrives in plastic boxes;
Hope arrives in envelopes of laminated paper;
Hope arrives in molded cheap metal.

Turn on the lights.

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she's not here @

12:15 AM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

LIGHTNING HAS STRUCK TWICE, IN THE FORM OF USAIN BOLT!!! :))) all this awesome-ness is making my head spinnnn..
tyrant.
-
And what can life be worth
if the outcome, without melancholy,
is that of senseless bliss?

When a murderer departs from his crime scene
with not a twinge of remorse...

When grown men attend a funeral
and bring gifts in good cheer...

When having complete satisfaction
leaves no reason for betterment...

Would we not, then, be reduced to fools?
And what can joy be worth
if the flavour of happiness, in the absence of sadness,
is sapped by commonness?

Condemned- an eternity- to a stagnant state of bliss;
intoxicated, bewitched, and mindless.

The enthrallment of a miracle,
unconsciously downplayed;
How more jubilant than jubilant, more ecstatic than ecstatic, more euphoric than euphoric,
can we hope to feel?

Can one truly cherish,
without having
first felt loss?

In this unending equilibrium called 'nothing',
patience is like a sheet stretched taut in the wind.
And what can life be worth

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she's not here @

10:44 PM

Sunday, August 17, 2008

i may be a little late but.....

CONGRATULATIONS Singapore Table Tennis Team on achieving an outstanding confirmed Silver Medal in the Woman's Team event!!! (although it is amusing that Singapore's players all come from China anyway) All The Best for tonight's competition against China! GO FOR GOLDDDD.

CONGRATULATIONS Michael Phelps on successfully attaining your EIGHTH GOLD MEDAL in this Olympics 2008!!!! you are way awesome-r than Spitz, although he has a cool mustache. your fierce determination never ceases to amaze me; you set out to get eight gold medals, you WILL get the eight gold medals, and you have gotten the eight gold medals. hands down to you, YOU The Man! LURVS<3

CONGRATULATIONS Dara Torres on clinching the Silver Medal for Woman's 50m freestyle individual! although the Gold should have been yours and we all thought you won (your head was in front but perhaps your arm is shorter, gawd you lost by a hundredth of a second), c'mon! you are forty one years old with a kid, we're all gonna remember you much better than that German girl. :)

to everyone watching the Olympics who is supposed to be studying instead, i hope there have been a few take away points from this procrastination. renewed passion, lessons on determination, displays of immense fighting spirit that have hopefully inspired you all greatly, to want to do well.
cheers! :)

she's not here @

12:57 PM

Thursday, August 14, 2008

FREE GIFT. ha ha ha ha ha

with regards to prelims, so far we're done with English, Mother tongue, A Maths paper two, Bio paper two.
many more to go.
Art paper two!!! argh, week one is over and i have not done a single sketch.
tschhhhh i deserve to die.
art coursework due tmr. prep boards= less than 50% complete.
-
a recent conversation with Mr Sng and Ms Teh have had me thinking, thinking harder than ever before.
it was indeed refreshing to see from his(Mr Sng) perspective, and it left me questioning the very fundamentals of my belief system.
we had a long and rather serious conversation about... everything, new topics hitchhiking the previous and occasional hijacking of topic which only brought about a whole new series of questions and discussion.
we concluded that most things are dependent on our choices, we believe what we want to believe.
various topics of discourse include: meaning in meaninglessness, absence of connections, creation, artists and renaissance paintings, whether intentions matter, coincidence, objective reasoning, 'right' and 'wrong', each belief system is just one perspective among multitudes of possibilities, chancing upon a clock in a field, one theory doesn't exclude the other, reaching conclusions you can live with.
'God' is such a clever device, we can neither prove his existence nor refute it! He is Man's greatest constant in life, he is the answer to everything.
they spent one and a half hours standing there gosh i felt so bad.
i went home and thought about it(i studied too k), and wondered why am i unable to just accept God in life. i reached a conclusion- life is just more intriguing and enigmatic without an answer to all my questions. i need to stay interested in the world, i need the endless questions to satiate my inquiring mind. LoL
i have not changed. people dont change.
one may point out that seeking reason in an unreasonable world is in itself meaningless, and the fact that the outcome is still the same makes it all the more meaningless BUT to me, this conversation was not meaningless at all. :)

SS tmr! All the best everyonezxzxz... and me.


she's not here @

10:08 PM

Monday, August 11, 2008

how absurd.
Man walk through his entire life searching for constants.
the only certainty is death and yet that is man's ultimate fear.
much of life is built on the hope of tomorrow yet tomorrow brings us closer to death and is man's ultimate enemy!
if the certainty of a future is that which man yearn, then why do man scorn the wretched fate of Sisyphus.?
absurd indeed!

she's not here @

7:10 PM


the past few days have been insanely unproductive..
aughhhhhh, nice time to fall ill.
thank you ken for the awesomely huge SHGP(study hard goody pack) :)

right now, i'm trying very hard not to let anything affect me adversely.
i am so weak.
and i dont practice what i preach!
i fall victim to the bad habit of assuming, and step into the trap of "expecting" way too often.
how extremely unhealthy.

does anyone understand my train of thought when i say confidence and self- esteem are two entirely different entities.
not RW, she is soo textbook. meep.
breathe, cheryl.
can someone teach me how to hug myself.
*
there are times that walk from you,
like some passing afternoon.
there are things that drift away,
like our endless, numbered days.
there are sailing ships that pass,
all our bodies in the grass.
there are things we cant recall,
blind as night that finds us all.
there are names across the sea,
only now i do believe;
a baby sleeps in all our bones,
so scared to be alone.

gonna imbibe some wine and hope i get better tomorrow.

she's not here @

12:47 AM

Sunday, August 10, 2008

give up the ticket, skip the carnival.
no time for (emotional) roller coaster rides..

at the end of the day:
if we dont stand together,
we die alone.

i could linger inside me
where would i go
i could drift off behind me
where i dont know

melancholy to life is like gravity to a barophobic
Ahhh... just another fit of existential despair

she's not here @

1:42 PM

Saturday, August 09, 2008

rub salt in the wounds, it will make you feel all better.
not because salt contains magical healing powers, but because the searing pain you receive through the contact of salt and flesh instantly numbs your brain to every other pain.
they dull and pale in comparison to the gratifying pain that salt provides;
you will never feel them again.
if salt ceases to work, splash some alcohol or spirit onto the wound. let it burn, so you can sleep better at night.
and if the pain is internal- a stab in the heart, a large hole in your chest where your heart used to be, manifest the pain in physical form, then apply the aforementioned methods with varying degree to block out the pain in your heart with one of a higher intensity.
if the aforementioned methods cease to work, break a finger or two.
and if everything and everything else fails, there can only be one way.


"what is vertigo.? fear of falling.? then why do we feel it even when the observation tower comes equipped with a sturdy handrail.? no, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. it is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves. the solidarity of the soulless calling you, that which you feared and fled once before but which mysteriously beckoned you. this is vertigo: the sweet (almost joyous) summons to renounce your fate and soul." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

in the grip of an insuperable longing to fall, living in a state of constant vertigo.

*edit
oh yes, nearly forgot. Happy Singapore Day. :)


she's not here @

5:19 PM

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

thank you for stopping me, 'cause my heart would break.

if the devil is six,
if the devil is six,
if the devil is six,

then god is seven!
(this monkey's gone to heaven)

ghahaha quirky. 8]
cant wait for twilight the movie to show in cinemas on december 12
meet edward(robert pattinson) and bella(kristen stewart)!
running vampire-esque
golden-eyed boy :D

Edward Cullen
although i was initially a little sour on the cast of robert as edward because he wasnt breathtakingly gorgeous, i like him now :)
look at the last picture... he looks agonized!!!
is there a single human being in this world that looks like an angel/ greek god anyway.?
geez. lol
http://moviesblog.mtv.com/tag/twilight/
scroll down, watch ' Twilight stars feel like rock stars after comic-con'. hahazz
fan: " AAAIIIII LOOOVEEEEE YOUUUUU ROBBBBB!!!!!!!"
Rob:" ...Good!"

:P cant wait.

she's not here @

7:44 PM