Crush

Monday, April 30, 2007

HALIMATUL COME BACK. :( i promise i wont call you sa'adiah...

i think i've taken up a new hobby: ROLLING ON THE FLOOR WHILE LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.
HAHAHA all your fault la jolyn. :)
sometimes i wonder...
what if one day, we all ran out of things to laugh about.?
what if we all ran out of patience to stay happy.?
what if we just didnt feel like laughing.?
what if we got too drained to feel anything.?
what if sadness consume us whole.?

will we be able to accept each other this way.?
or will we just say "whats her problem again?!"
and walk away....?

with each other, we find ourselves laughing about anything, everything under the sun.
i can swear that with you guys,
i've felt genuinly happy.
i laughed and screamed,
even rolled on the floor many many times...
wad- didnt yall laughed along and felt as happy as me.?
or was that just a facade.?
were you just being happy so we could feel happy.?
saddens me laaaaa...
didnt we have some really great memories.?
(i can remember them despite STM okeh.)

pretty please, its time all of us took out our real(er) self in front of each other...
lets have happy times, as well as sad angsty assholed times together..
if you feel upset for wadever reason, TELL US, DAMMIT. RARR.
go on moping and i'll feel utterly useless,
as if i've failed miserably as a friend...
& our friendship would be nought but superficial

we wouldnt want that now, would we.? :)

she's not here @

9:40 PM

Sunday, April 29, 2007

if only i knew how to save a life...

life really isnt fair aye....?
some ppl get knocked over so bad they fall unconscious,
while some just get a little twack..
=(
& in the end we just have to keep getting up again.
we're expected to.
to get up after every fall,
to be on the ball at all times..
& we should not be excused or given an extra breather,
cos everyone's going through the same thing in life.

how is it the same.?

honestly, i hate this..
this being on the ball shit.
i know it's true, but fuck it.
every time someone mentions this i writhe in anger.
what fucking ball do we have to be on all the time.?
this thing dont ever end, dammit.
till we fucking die
once we get on the ball, we gotta keep treading on,
keep moving,
& never stop.
or we'll fall from it. badly. and it may run us over.
& here comes a second ball...

somewhere along in this bitterness.... where did i go wrong.?

Labels: Grateful Dead

she's not here @

2:15 AM

Friday, April 27, 2007

someone who knows and fears loneliness, will always have love for others... really.?

& i dont want the world to see me,
cos i dont think that they'll understand...
when everything's meant to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am...

haha. i've decided to give genuine praise to people more often. :D
1) it inculcates a friendly harmonious atmosphere
2) motivation: people strive with praise (really ok)
3) it makes both me and you happyyy!! i think :D
4) such an investment is much more worth it

(after maths lesson..)
me: Mr Khoo, did anybody tell you that for a guy, your handwriting is actually very nice.? :D
Mr Khoo: *smiles & fakes a faint + stumble*
me: HAHAHAHA no really HAHAHAHA what.?!
Mr Khoo: you dont scare me~~!
classmates: HAHAHAH eh cheryl you're crazy. very random leh.
other classmates: what.? what.? wad did cheryl say.?
classmates: she said..........

yadayadayada the story goes on...

(after chem lesson..)
me: Mrs Kuek, you know wad.? i think you very poor thing...
Mrs Kuek: hmm.? why.? *gives concerned look*
me: cos you're a really good teacher, but we're really bad students. *laughs*
Mrs Kuek: hah ya, you know ah. *gives amazed look* but what to do.? your class is like that.......

LOL.

perhaps

she's not here @

12:42 AM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

& as i watch you turn and walk away,
your solitary back view seemed to say:
" i'm lonely, but i dont mind.."
" i'm weary, but i'll be fine.."

expressionless, with a hint of tiredness;
your shoulders looked so heavy
as if you have the weight of the world on your shoulders

you try to bury your burdens deep within you
you try to put your sadness aside
and not reveal them to others

but you cant hide it;
its radiating from every line of your body...

i can see it, i can sense it.
others may not feel it, but somehow i can
that you're crumbling inside.
slowly, but surely.

pls dont shoulder all this pain alone..
cos one day, when there's no place left to hide,
all this pain, all your pain, will come bursting out of you.
& when this time comes, there's no turning back.
it'll all be too late,
& everything done will be in vain.

lay your troubles on my shoulders, put your worries in my pocket...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HAHA, KHAIRIAH. (name officially changed to sexy. :D)
you= mad+ retarded
laughing like a hyena...
today's recess was so crazyyyy!!!
i ate nescafe+ jap store rice. LOL
(dont try it. unless you wanna get diarrhea of sorts)
haha.
and ancient egyptians are soooo scandalous!
cleopatra married her brother,
and she died by asking a snake to
BITE HER RIGHT BOOB.
ahahahahaha!!!
WTFZZZOMFGGGFDW#RMO
and no, cleopatra was NOT bald.
(or baald, so pronounces jolyn. xD)
think sound that sheeps make.
baa baa baaaaaaaaaaaaaa~~~~
yup. :D

cheryl is missing sexy, ling yu, halima tul, jolyn, deborah (in no particular order)
on 25-04-07, 2035 hrs. lovesss :)

she's not here @

8:11 PM

Monday, April 16, 2007

hello, cheryl. you're not supposed to kill yourself, cos
~~you're not that fucked up yet.~~

restless nights &
fitful sleeps.
i wake up every two minutes

Today's great;
perfect for a funeral.
relentless downpour,
flooded fields.

we shall swim in the puddles
till we're soaked and wrinkled;
wasting away
till all worldly cares have drowned

& nothing really matters...

Labels: " Never take away a person's hope... it may be all they have left ..."

she's not here @

9:22 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

why did i let myself believe
miracles could happen...?
cos now i have to pretend
that i dont really care

& i realised a crude reality:
people dont want to know me.
they want to know the clown in me.

perhaps this was wad i've been showing to everyone
so much so they've gotten too used to it
that they cant accept me otherwise.
then again.
maybe in fact, this is wad i want others to see me as.
the 'me' i want others to know...
oh wells.

crash & burn

she's not here @

5:40 PM

Saturday, April 07, 2007

OKAY! i changed my blogskin...
just some crappy random picture i doodled
(and scanned and edited and uploaded many many thousand times.)
mm... i'm quite into the simplicity of black and white these days.
nothing too garish or hurting to the eye...
this may or may not be permanent,
depending on whether i feel like drawing more crap. :D
yup.

LINGYU HALIMA TUL JOLYN & KHAI (my red red rosexD):
if you see this, it means lets go jam. :D

she's not here @

4:53 AM

i know i've been mistaken
but just give me a break and see the changes that i've made
i've got some imperfections
but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

i hope you're not intending
to be so condescending its as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so i keep bending till i break

but you always find a way
to keep me right here waiting
you always find the words to say
to keep me right here waiting
and if you chose to walk away
i'd still be right here waiting
searching for the things to say
to keep you right here waiting

no matter what you do, no matter wad you say
you know i'll give in anyway

she's not here @

1:55 AM