Sunday, May 20, 2007
put a gun to my heart
let everything return to the start
if spoken words were
so meaningless
so useless
so helpless
at getting my feelings across...
since those words would've died along with my thoughts anyway...
then never again will i bother to voice them out..
why should i bother explaining so much.?
no matter what i say,
no matter how much i say,
your mind is already set
your verdict already cast
you ask me whats my fucking problem.?
sure, i'll tell you whats my fucking problem.
but would you even care.?
would you even listen.?
everything is my fault wad.
its my fault that you find it hard to praise people but easier to scold
its my fault that nothing i do seems good enough for you.
its my fault for making you say fuck seven times.
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
let everything return to the start
if spoken words were
so meaningless
so useless
so helpless
at getting my feelings across...
since those words would've died along with my thoughts anyway...
then never again will i bother to voice them out..
why should i bother explaining so much.?
no matter what i say,
no matter how much i say,
your mind is already set
your verdict already cast
you ask me whats my fucking problem.?
sure, i'll tell you whats my fucking problem.
but would you even care.?
would you even listen.?
everything is my fault wad.
its my fault that you find it hard to praise people but easier to scold
its my fault that nothing i do seems good enough for you.
its my fault for making you say fuck seven times.
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
she's not here @
9:48 PM
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
wow, time flies i swear.
it's almost the end of may!
soon, our june hols will be over, and we'll be SEC 4.
'O' lvl year. zzzomggg....
it'll not be too long,
we dont have much time.
this clock never seemed so alive
i'm in a STUDY- MODE, believe it or not.
alr began on hols hmwk. -o-
haha. i intend to finish off everything in the first wk,
and slack/ study through the rest.
I CAN DO IT!
who wants to bet.? :D
i'm still in sec 3 and alr panicking for 'O' lvls. HAHA
eh no wait.
i cant use panic.
i dont panic . :D
if my panic actually MEAN panic, everyone else should be dying of anxiety attacks. haha!
my definition of panic is honestly different from the rest.
when i panic/worry , i say "oh my."
and thats the end of it. xDDD
OK. PICTURES! i promised to post my bday pics, i got a LITTLE lazy. just a little. HAHA.
here's some..
it's almost the end of may!
soon, our june hols will be over, and we'll be SEC 4.
'O' lvl year. zzzomggg....
it'll not be too long,
we dont have much time.
this clock never seemed so alive
i'm in a STUDY- MODE, believe it or not.
alr began on hols hmwk. -o-
haha. i intend to finish off everything in the first wk,
and slack/ study through the rest.
I CAN DO IT!
who wants to bet.? :D
i'm still in sec 3 and alr panicking for 'O' lvls. HAHA
eh no wait.
i cant use panic.
i dont panic . :D
if my panic actually MEAN panic, everyone else should be dying of anxiety attacks. haha!
my definition of panic is honestly different from the rest.
when i panic/worry , i say "oh my."
and thats the end of it. xDDD
OK. PICTURES! i promised to post my bday pics, i got a LITTLE lazy. just a little. HAHA.
here's some..
crime scene weapon! 
the hardened-sponge-but-still-yummy-brownie! :D
traffic light, ling yu says. haha (from left to right, JOLYN KHAI LINGYU)
gay photoframe!
my LOVELY PRESENT from ling yu, claudia, jennkim. LOVES!
i DO have a cake, and i WAS acting spastic. xDi'll POST MORE NEXT TIME.
uber loveesss, my friends!!!
till then,
TATA
she's not here @
6:51 PM
Monday, May 14, 2007
sorry. =(
& in the end,
i'll be the only one affected by all this
i'll be the only one feeling so fucked up over nothing
i'll be the only one who bothers to apologise
again & again
i didnt ask to be this silly,
i guess this is just the kind of pain you get in treasuring someone.
& maybe you dont even care...
cosyoudonthavetodoanythingyoudontevenhavetosayanythingtohavemecomingbacktoyounomatterhowscrewedyoumademefeelit wouldnthavebeen your faultit'llbemineitsmineitsalwaysminei'dbeatmyselfupsobad&intheendi'llalwaysforgiveyou..
how does it feel like to be forgiven.?
how does it feel like to be cherished.?
somebody tell me, cos i dont really know
it's really trying to read your thoughts all the time,
i'm not that psychic...
you're just like a gust wind...
can't grasp hold of you at all...
& in the end,
i'll be the only one affected by all this
i'll be the only one feeling so fucked up over nothing
i'll be the only one who bothers to apologise
again & again
i didnt ask to be this silly,
i guess this is just the kind of pain you get in treasuring someone.
& maybe you dont even care...
cosyoudonthavetodoanythingyoudontevenhavetosayanythingtohavemecomingbacktoyounomatterhowscrewedyoumademefeelit wouldnthavebeen your faultit'llbemineitsmineitsalwaysminei'dbeatmyselfupsobad&intheendi'llalwaysforgiveyou..
how does it feel like to be forgiven.?
how does it feel like to be cherished.?
somebody tell me, cos i dont really know
it's really trying to read your thoughts all the time,
i'm not that psychic...
you're just like a gust wind...
can't grasp hold of you at all...
she's not here @
4:07 PM
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
cheryl,
turn on the lights;
stop hankering for senseless attention,
you're never gonna get it.
its nought but wishful thinking...
i really hate the part about humans where we all
want to feel special....
to feel needed by someone,
and for people to recognize our existance..
we needed to feel like we mattered...
we all needed validation in this world.
but the truth is,
no one in this world is indispensible...
not one of us is necessary;
& one person's death barely causes a ripple in the movement of the world.
like clockwork, night will always turn into day,
restless nightmares will always give in to the dawn.
the world doesnt need anything or anyone
but that is a terribly sad thing..,
a terribly lonely thing..
thats why people turn to others for reassurance and help! :D
i think..
this world exists for those who need it.
it continues for the sake of those still searching..
& how many times must we lose our way..
before we find the answers we seek.?
turned to smoke and ashes
turn on the lights;
stop hankering for senseless attention,
you're never gonna get it.
its nought but wishful thinking...
i really hate the part about humans where we all
want to feel special....
to feel needed by someone,
and for people to recognize our existance..
we needed to feel like we mattered...
we all needed validation in this world.
but the truth is,
no one in this world is indispensible...
not one of us is necessary;
& one person's death barely causes a ripple in the movement of the world.
like clockwork, night will always turn into day,
restless nightmares will always give in to the dawn.
the world doesnt need anything or anyone
but that is a terribly sad thing..,
a terribly lonely thing..
thats why people turn to others for reassurance and help! :D
i think..
this world exists for those who need it.
it continues for the sake of those still searching..
& how many times must we lose our way..
before we find the answers we seek.?
turned to smoke and ashes
she's not here @
7:52 PM
the brilliant stars bred sengkang to life tonight....
and wad was i doing.?
stuck at home completing maths homework. -o-
i knew it.
should've gone stargazing...
haha no, i was kidding. xD
the disproportioned Johari's Window
just realised how un-nice the names of singapore's districts are.
hmm..
sengkang, hougang, punggol, boon keng.... blearghhh.
need i say more.? LOL
ohio is for lovers
haha. yesterday, i woke up and found myself lying on
a penknife
scissors
stapler
hp chargers (yes, plugged in)
pipi
(so i named my metal ruler. haha)
pens
markers
etc etc...
and a whole pile of wkshts..
AGAIN.
yes, this is not the first time i found myself lying on dangerous objects..
must have fallen asleep while doing hmwk..
xD its quite amusing.
someday i may actually get killed accidentally
& die in my sleep...
when the ocean meets the sky, i'll be sailing....
and wad was i doing.?
stuck at home completing maths homework. -o-
i knew it.
should've gone stargazing...
haha no, i was kidding. xD
the disproportioned Johari's Window
just realised how un-nice the names of singapore's districts are.
hmm..
sengkang, hougang, punggol, boon keng.... blearghhh.
need i say more.? LOL
ohio is for lovers
haha. yesterday, i woke up and found myself lying on
a penknife
scissors
stapler
hp chargers (yes, plugged in)
pipi
(so i named my metal ruler. haha)
pens
markers
etc etc...
and a whole pile of wkshts..
AGAIN.
yes, this is not the first time i found myself lying on dangerous objects..
must have fallen asleep while doing hmwk..
xD its quite amusing.
someday i may actually get killed accidentally
& die in my sleep...
when the ocean meets the sky, i'll be sailing....
Labels: rhythm of my heart
she's not here @
12:41 AM
Sunday, May 06, 2007
haha! yesterday was utterly insane!
on 050507, 3.30 am,
i woke up to find two illegal trespassers (ling yu and khai)
SQUIRTING WHIPPED CREAM ON MY FACE.
and they didnt forget to let some drip on my shirt and pillows...
oh gosh was i shocked!
haha afterwards, i learnt that my sis opened the door for them, and well, almost everyone, including my parents knew about this, except MOI.
ahahaha! i guess this is wad you call a surprise! xDDD
jolyn, dont be too sad.
though you couldnt come, (i should've slept earlier)
i still felt you prescence... :)
EHH NONOONO.
i felt your LOVE. xD
then i was forced to eat this brownie, baked by khai, khai's mom, ly, and jolyn.
sorry guys, but it tasted like hardened sponge.. xDD
(not that i ate sponge bfore.)
but thankyou anyway!
and i got my present (i can only get it if i ate that brownie)
A GAY PHOTOFRAME!
but it was pinkish rather than purple okay.
khai, your eyes blang out ah. hahah!
they then covered my eyes and led me outside...
to give me my real present..:
A BLACK AND GOLD ADIDAS PULLOVER. (shared by ly, claud, jenn)
men's size.. xD
a bit big, but nice nonetheless. heh.
THANKYOU GUYS!
not forgetting the beautiful erm...
balloon cards.? -o-
(they went like. " oh we still have cards...." and oh, they returned with balloons. haha!)
DAMN CUTE LAH.
traffic light! hahaha
yup. so ly and khai ended up sleeping over in my room...
other than this crazy episode,
the day was pretty normal.
as always. :)
and thankyou everyone, who bothered to send me
birthday msges! :D
loveeessss...
i'm currently working on a photo collage of sorts.
will post pics later. :D
THANK YOU, LY, SEXY,
JOLYN (though you had to leave halfway),
AND (HALIMATUL AND DEB, though yall cannot come)
you guys made this year so special. :)
uber lovesss!!!!
on 050507, 3.30 am,
i woke up to find two illegal trespassers (ling yu and khai)
SQUIRTING WHIPPED CREAM ON MY FACE.
and they didnt forget to let some drip on my shirt and pillows...
oh gosh was i shocked!
haha afterwards, i learnt that my sis opened the door for them, and well, almost everyone, including my parents knew about this, except MOI.
ahahaha! i guess this is wad you call a surprise! xDDD
jolyn, dont be too sad.
though you couldnt come, (i should've slept earlier)
i still felt you prescence... :)
EHH NONOONO.
i felt your LOVE. xD
then i was forced to eat this brownie, baked by khai, khai's mom, ly, and jolyn.
sorry guys, but it tasted like hardened sponge.. xDD
(not that i ate sponge bfore.)
but thankyou anyway!
and i got my present (i can only get it if i ate that brownie)
A GAY PHOTOFRAME!
but it was pinkish rather than purple okay.
khai, your eyes blang out ah. hahah!
they then covered my eyes and led me outside...
to give me my real present..:
A BLACK AND GOLD ADIDAS PULLOVER. (shared by ly, claud, jenn)
men's size.. xD
a bit big, but nice nonetheless. heh.
THANKYOU GUYS!
not forgetting the beautiful erm...
balloon cards.? -o-
(they went like. " oh we still have cards...." and oh, they returned with balloons. haha!)
DAMN CUTE LAH.
traffic light! hahaha
yup. so ly and khai ended up sleeping over in my room...
other than this crazy episode,
the day was pretty normal.
as always. :)
and thankyou everyone, who bothered to send me
birthday msges! :D
loveeessss...
i'm currently working on a photo collage of sorts.
will post pics later. :D
THANK YOU, LY, SEXY,
JOLYN (though you had to leave halfway),
AND (HALIMATUL AND DEB, though yall cannot come)
you guys made this year so special. :)
uber lovesss!!!!
she's not here @
12:15 PM
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
if you wade around forever, you will surely drown
i see whats going down...
do you feel like a man, when you push her around.?
do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground.?
let me tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end..
as your lies crumble down,
a new life she has found.
face down in the dirt ;
she said, " this doesnt hurt"
she said....
"i finally had enough....."
oh yay. three cheers to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (stupid name, i know..)- face down.
my current ear worm.. haha
(along with all the other sing-alongs...)
yan kai if you're reading this, dont you get cocky! mrawr. haha
no, this song is not emo.
you say its emo, i box you. -o-
its just a song with meaningful lyrics that yes, tell a story. :D
" this doesnt hurt..."
every action in this world will bear a consequence
if you wade around forever, you will surely drown
i see whats going down...
do you feel like a man, when you push her around.?
do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground.?
let me tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end..
as your lies crumble down,
a new life she has found.
face down in the dirt ;
she said, " this doesnt hurt"
she said....
"i finally had enough....."
oh yay. three cheers to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (stupid name, i know..)- face down.
my current ear worm.. haha
(along with all the other sing-alongs...)
yan kai if you're reading this, dont you get cocky! mrawr. haha
no, this song is not emo.
you say its emo, i box you. -o-
its just a song with meaningful lyrics that yes, tell a story. :D
" this doesnt hurt..."
she's not here @
8:50 PM
