Crush

Monday, July 30, 2007

ahh, i bought a new bag today.
haha. though i couldnt the find the one i originally wanted- bigger, A3 friendly.
but oh wells. fuck that.
i couldnt care, couldnt walk out of the shop empty-handed.
i NEEDED to buy something.
heh. impulsive, impulsive. hell yeah.
but it isnt bad, i think.
shall shop around for another leather one.

zzzomg. there's this wierdo blasting wierd chinese music from the OPPOSITE BLOCK.
WTF i can hear it so loudly. is he/she deaf. -o-
i'll hold a save thy ears campaign.

okay, i am supposed to be mugging like a good little girl there are testS (multiple) tmr.
oh shit. i dont know no shits about anything. kinda went into hiatus since mdm faridah left for ireland and london. ahhhhhh. me want go go.

& hallelujah, it'll be raining whiskey wine liquor tequila beer all mixed together(and fruit punch for the little kids) sooner than you know. wahahahahahah. oh. and puke, so says jolyn. ;D

/ i still miss pink spider

she's not here @

5:31 PM

Sunday, July 29, 2007

make hide come back please please please

she's not here @

9:22 PM

Friday, July 27, 2007

watching the stars till they're gone
like an actor all alone
who never knew the story he was in
who never knew the story ends
like the sky reflecting my heart
all the colours become visible
when the morning begins
i'll read the last line

in endless rain i've been walking
like a poet feeling pain
trying to find the answers
trying to hide the tears
but it was just a circle
that never ends
when the rain stops, i'll turn the page
the page of the first chapter

am i wrong to be hurt
am i wrong to feel pain
am i wrong to be in the rain
am i wrong to wish the night wont end
am i wrong to cry
but i know, it's not wrong to sing The Last Song
cause forever fades...

X Japan- The Last Song

i was watching X Japan videos on youtube,
the last song, forever love and pink spider are now stuck in my head.
it was their last live performance,
before x japan disbanded before hide killed himself, killed himself.
i watch toshi cry, sing, heartached in agony my heart goes out to him.
i watch yoshi piano, got sad and emo, walked to the step sit down cry, went to toshi, hug him.
i watch other guitarist with big messy marty friedman-style hair (hired, maybe) do their thang.
and most definitely

i watch hide and his neon pink hair sit on the step guitaring on his yellow with red hearts signature gibson les paul deluxe. he had a nonchalent depressed look.

it was a touching last performance, the ultimate tear- jerker. fans were bawling their eyes out, x japan was already missed.

x japan, i salute you. <333

she's not here @

11:55 PM

yesterday, i watched my sis and joey shoot hoops.
and for once, i felt really proud of her (my sis of course)
i mean, it's really great of her to bother to stay back after sch for hours just to practice shooting hoops.
i saw how determined she was to hone her skills to perfection, make every shot precise and accurate. doing something she really loves, full of passion for that one sport.
she's gotten her wish, gotten into main five. her coach even made her play forward, out of desperation.
well, i just thought i suddenly loved her much more. x)
awwwww

i love x japan i love hide i love pink spider and his pink hair.

she's not here @

11:49 PM

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

& we talked about how horrible it is when so much authority falls into the hands of a rotten man.

LOL. i read something amusing.
gross,disgustingly, pukingly amusing.
gross.

Labels: every teacher annoyed me today.

she's not here @

4:22 PM

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

i start the electric kettle,
took down a sachet,
chose a small bowl..
i make myself a bowl of miso soup.
it was lovely it tasted heavenly.

i miss japan, i miss japan.

today, we had our first community singing! (of the year)
ahaha it was quite fun, we laughed at some gay men.
i thought they were trying to kill us, (or at least our vocal chords)
with that crazy high- pitch wail, only attainable by choir sopranos.
ah well.
apparently, we all loved 'home'
i didnt know that.
until 24th may, i couldnt give a shit.
i mean, its a singapore song. O_O
strangely, when the slides came for us to sing home,
everyone cheered. EVERYONE.
wow. ^^

Ms Doris Koh, our new chem teacher, arrived today...
apart from her looking as if she had insomnia for ten million years, her annoying whiney voice,
the strange abrupt way she speaks, the irritating way she rolls her eyes, thinks she's damn smart and us stupid, she's okay... ^^
at least she amuses me.
geez.

she's not here @

6:55 PM

Monday, July 23, 2007

i am reading a book, titled
My Friend Leonard
by James Frey.
dont let book cover fool you.
it's baby pink, but no where near bimbo.
what seemed like a crystal or a piece of jewellery is actually a fucking ash tray.
the story is bittersweet, far from your average chic-flick romance.
its a damn good book i cant stop reading.
i bet it'll make you cry a hell lot.
fucking book.

she's not here @

4:26 PM

Saturday, July 21, 2007

holy hark, its raining! :)

she's not here @

12:40 PM

YAY. finally a change of blogskin. :D
found a few really nice ones,
was kind of spoilt for choices...
no more navigations. heh. :)
but i thought this was the nicest,
what with the pretty rainbow and nice decorations.
great background pattern too.
arty farty
just like me.

<333

she's not here @

12:26 PM

Thursday, July 19, 2007

shit.
i really hate myself, ugly ppl like me shouldnt even exist.
yknow how drg SEL, we discussed about how humans like to feel victimised of sorts?

yes, as much as i hate to admit it, i have conveniently created a villain for myself; i blame god when things go wrong. though i believe naught of his existence as a divine being.
fuck it.

but i dont do that often now, so i end up hating myself instead.
and i'd begin to realise how ugly, despicable, selfish and prone to jealousy i actually am. this self- realization has been constantly eating into me, gnawing away at my heart, leaving not the slightest bit of space for self- esteem and self- worth. maybe i'm not that smart. maybe i'm not as intellectual as ppl think i am. maybe my philosophies are just lies fabricated and told so convincingly ppl actually find truth in them and seek me out.
WARNING: people who associate themselves with me will get bad luck, or be affected by it somehow. best advised to refrain from associating yourself with me. be fore- warned. ):
people like me will only give others bad luck. i think i'm dragging ppl down drains.

okay. TODAY= CEDAR T&F FINALS!!!

many thanks to all who went down to support, we've got the cedar spirit all over us!

it was more exciting this year, what with jia yuan and the long haired pontianak. :D(so says some ppl)

but our banners this year was boo, they didnt use the long pretty black one.

instead, all the banners were printed, fonts only, nothing special.

geez.

and we were provided clappers! the cute handy-clapper and the long ones that you have to blow air into.

i was wondering since when did our school become so generous as to give us these, when PSLs came with big bags to collect them back. -o- uber dots. even the long ones, filled with our saliva, trampled upon, crumpled.

they said they needed to do STOCK COUNT.

wad rubbish!! sheeshers.

and heres a secret: WE SAW 2 CUTE/ HANDSOME GUYS. zzzomg!!!

though only 2, i swear they're uber hot. WOOTS! xDDD

ahhh. i accidentally used cedar colours. :D

<333

she's not here @

12:56 AM

Saturday, July 14, 2007

nobody said it was easy
oh its such a shame we had to part...
nobody said it was easy
no one ever said that it would be this hard..
oh take me back to the start...

okay. apologies, i have been a fucktard lately.
you dont know how lovely you are, honest. :)

when one no longer sees beauty in oneself,
one tends to overcompensate by seeing beauty in others...

oh lets go back to the start...

she's not here @

12:03 AM

Friday, July 06, 2007

& she dont know what her problem is...;

I FEEL LIKE GETTING DRUNK.

she's not here @

7:59 PM

allright.
everyone, congratulate me.
I DID WAD I'M BEST AT,
which is flunking. :(

i'm really good at screwing things up, i swear.
i think i screwed up art yesterday,
and today i totally flunked oral.
this is the shit man.
SOMEONE, FOLLOW ME, BE MY WITNESS.
I WANNA HEADBANG MY LIFE AWAY.

lol.well, not really.
i'd get stiff and long neck.
ltr cannot fit in the coffin. :D

she's not here @

7:37 PM

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

hello,
<.confessions of a teenage (non) emofuck>
I LOVE JOLYN I LOVE JOLYN I LOVE JOLYN I LOVE JOLYN!!!!!!!!!!
i love jolyn to bits and pieces,
i love jolyn hardcore.
even when we're old, wigged and teethless,
i'll still love her summore...!

*picks up microphone and sings the house down*

yeah i~~~~ will love you, bayybaye...
always and i'll be there~~
forever and a day, always~~

i'll be there till hte stars dont shine,
till the heavens burst and the words dont rhyme
i know when i die you'll be on my mind
and i'll looove you, alwayyysss~~~~

*strums in guitar solo*

yay. joyln, these are my attempts at being romantic, i know you're deeply touched.
cherish this forever, lady. at least for ten million years. heh.
<./confessions of a teenage (non)emofucks>

she's not here @

7:25 PM

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

iyar. i'm totally lazy to blog, and uber sick of navigating.
hmm. think i should get a new one withOUT navigation links and be normal for a bit.

she's not here @

6:55 PM

woohoo! believe it or not,
i PASSED e maths.zzzomggg.
thats amazing. for me. eheheh
hmm. only test left is art paper 2 on thursday,
and "O" lvl mother tongue oral on friday.

well, que sera sera. ;)

i know it hurts, to feel so all alone;
i'm by myself, more than you could know...

she's not here @

5:31 PM