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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

i never thought my chinese was bad, till this year my teacher convinced me it was and i gradually believed her.

HAPPY MIDAUTUMNS.
i dont know why, but as we grow older, these festivals tend to lose that festive mood, along with their special significance.

the date previously carefully marked out on a calendar now creeps up on us and slithers past with barely a whisper.

what used to be a long planned gathering with the relatives or friends to carry lanterns in the park or burn down a garden, is now a night of normalcy where we stay at home to study, and scorn the smoke from other people's fun.

even delightfully selected boxes of mooncakes are now 'those few mummy brought home from office'.

now what audicity is this total lack of interest in cultural interaction, you ask.?

well. i call this a phase in growing up. x(

eoys are hurtling towards me with full-blown force, MT on thurs, E Maths on fri. then come mon tues wed fri.

alas, posts shalt await. :)


she's not here @

11:09 PM

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.

People feel like they really don't know the true you...

Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.


Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.

It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.

You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.


okay. two days ago(20 sept) was a study date at macs with jolyn khai ly deb and halimatul who left after eating. then dinner to celebrate sis (mic) bday.

National Donut Day.

red, black, and a hunched-back kimek.

my sis came after that, jolyn lost her teeth.dinner! i love love love love jap food!

sukiyaki.

cold soba and tempura!!! (i had this wawawewa)

i forgot wad this was, mic had this.kebabs!


tempura goood!!!
cheesecake(someone gave her) from cheesecake cafe,
and my sis the barbarian. hahaha

study date wasnt very productive for me, i spent the whole time doing art and only completed one piece. :( then sis(drey) came over, ly left, and we broke fast with khairiah!!!
i bought her nuggets, and iced milo.
then me and drey had to leave for some impromptu decision for dinner.
ate in a jap restaurant at clark quay and hell it was gooood!
never had such good food since japan. T.T
------------------------------------------------------------------

yesterday was english exam!!! oh me oh my i think i can die.
then went for art.
loads of drama i shall not elaborate :(
then went to zhong hua to set it up
haha shall post pics next time.

went to meet jolyn and khai to supposedly go for a movie.
but there werent nice ones we all lost interest.
so we ended up taking the lift up and down some hotel (like idiots)
and we walked a lot a lot.
broke fast with khai at subway fareast!
and there was the revelation about breakfast, and how it means break fast.
hahahaha we're having breakfast at night zzzomgg. :D
subway was good, but cos i hated veggies (i only like selected/cooked soft ones),
my 6-inch was like super flat. lols!
khai refused to eat, (naughty khai) she ate a cookie. :(
doodled on a napkin. haha
walked ard fareast, laughlaughlaughed in a bookstore,
then home with khai. heehee
napkin doodle. (jolyn did those in purple)
cos all emo men say fuck, and jolyn wanted a mohawk.

khai scratching her butt.
OKAY OKAY I LIED KHAIRIAH DONT SMACK ME.
me, khai, jolyn.
all smiles and happy souls.
we could last another minute.




she's not here @

4:43 PM

Thursday, September 20, 2007

infra-red, bluetooth, and a heart on the knuckle. heehee.
You Are a Blue Crayon
Your world is colored in calm, understated, deep colors.You are a loyal person, and the truest friend anyone could hope to find.On the inside, you tend to be emotional and even a bit moody.However, you know that people depend on you. So you put on a strong front.
Your color wheel opposite is orange. Orange people may be opinionated, but you feel they lack the depth to truly understand what they're saying.
You Are a Red Crayon

Your world is colored with bright, vivid, wild colors.
You have a deep, complex personality - and you are always expressing something about yourself.
Bold and dominant, you are a natural leader. You have an energy that is intense... and sometimes overwhelming.
Your reaction to everything tends to be strong. You are the master of love-hate relationships.

Your color wheel opposite is green. Green people are way too mellow to understand what drives your energy.
i did this quiz twice, cos i couldnt decide between green and violet eyes. x)
KHAIRIAHHHHH I LUUUUUUVV YOU! ^^ next time i give you real kiss. ahahah.
LING YU JOLYN of itsDEB-BRA SA'ADIAH I LOVE YOU ALL MANY MANY TOO!!!
lets have an "exam's over paardeeeee!!!"
oh noooo, exam's only starting tmr and i'm thinking of its end alr. >.<
how we fell apart, how'd we fell apart...






she's not here @

12:41 PM

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

counting down the days
till my heart breaks down and say
"i cant take this pain"
"i'm giving up again"

:(

its really trying.

english exam is in 2 days,
i feel like i dont know enough.
my art installation's a piece of shit,
(mdm nur i know you're upset i'm sorry)
i dont know if i'll do well for art exam.
i think i lost my art brain.
or is it my heart...
nostalgia, nostalgia.
its one of the strongest emotions i'm feeling right now.
erm, i'm losing everyone i hold dear,
everyone seems to have moved on.
i cant.
and i'm tired of trying to look very very happy all the time, cos i'm tearing up inside.
i'm replacable, dispensable.
noone needs me more than the world, the world doesnt need me.

do you know how much you hurt me.
maybe i'm thinking too much into things,
but your subtle actions, or non-actions...
your ignorance, unknowingly you hurt me.

Stars looking at a planet, watching entropy and pain
And maybe start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane

but thou dost not hear me..;





she's not here @

9:39 PM

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Don’t lie and say that it’s okay
It’s all right if there’s nothing more to say

So I’m running away, I’m leaving this place
Yeah I’m running away, I’m running away

Don’t tell me I’m the one to blame
It’s too late for you to make me stay
No I won’t stay

So I’m running away, I’m leaving this place
Yeah I’m running away, I’m running away

And faster than you can follow me from this lonely place
And farther than you can find me,
I’m leaving, yeah I’m leaving today

And I, I’ll never let you find me
I’m leaving you behind with the past, no I won’t look back
And I, I wanna hear your reasons
I wanna hear you tell me why I should stay
And try, try to understand me
Try to understand what I say, when I say I can’t stay
I, I’m moving on from this place,
I’m leaving and I won’t wait,
I’m running away

I’m running away, I’m leaving this place
Yeah I’m running away, I’m running away

she's not here @

11:05 AM

Saturday, September 15, 2007

why flirt with disaster.?

lol its 6.15 am, i am not asleep yet.


i love vampires!!! heeheehee
i wanna be a vampire,
i want a vampire boyfriend. :D
i want edward cullen!!!
gold eyes, velvet voice....
face like an angel!
can you imagine.??
uber loves!!!!

the more i say edward, the more i luuuuuuvvv that name!
though its a bit archaic, its lovely! wawawewa! hahaha

& try, try to understand me

Labels:


she's not here @

6:15 AM

Thursday, September 13, 2007

with downcast eyes;

think happy thoughts. :)

there's more to living than being alive

opposition rests in the hearts
with no, with no, with no opportunity
its not that we dont talk
its just no one really listens and honesty fades
like a politician lost in the course
all smiles and no one remembers our names


&are you where you thought you'd be


she's not here @

5:54 PM

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

tonight i've fallen and i cant get up.

i'm japansick. :(

she's not here @

4:41 PM

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

just got the news that our art installation piece is due this fucking thurs.
i am going to die die die.
why this utterly time consuming thing when i've finally decided to be studious.??
eoy's round the corner I WANT TO STUDY oh god i really do.
everyone's feeling the stress,
everyone's getting impatient.
with life,
with each other.

i'm really trying to be happy from now,
i'm trying to be that insane cheerful person,
i'm trying to smile and laugh and laugh and smile,
i'm trying to love life,
i'm trying to not think of death,
i'm trying to forgive,
i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying.


it just gets a bit tiring sometimes, yknow.? :)

she's not here @

10:47 PM

Monday, September 10, 2007

i've finally decided to start studying for eoy. (yay me)
after a great shock this morning that eoy is in like, 10 days time wadthefuck.

so i keep a slip of paper containing the exam schedule in my skirt pocket,
i carry it everywhere i go.
the words are all in RED ALMIGHTY RED, with RED ALERT as header.
i hope to scare myself,
with the constant reminder that


.....its NEAR.
(and i mean fucking near we've got not much time)



she's not here @

9:43 PM


luuuuuuvvv life *does hand action thing* cos spongebob says so, and i worship spongebob.

she's not here @

9:30 PM

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


more than just a leaky faucet
(azuzephre@deviantart)

so suddenly, the empty hollow pain in my chest is back again.
not that it was ever gone, i just thought it had faded into the background.

just dont be surprised if i help myself to hugs, or ask you for candy candy and more candy.
i do take candy in place of hugs. heehee

i love the earth i really do.

she's not here @

5:08 PM


closeth thy windows and locketh thy doors.
maketh thyself an artificial night.

i'm bored, dont blame me if this gets incoherent.
not that ppl read this anyway. hahaha
yesyes there's chem spa tmr i'm supposed to be studying.

i've concluded that however much fun laughter peace and joy you have with your friends,
its kinda just temporary relief.
not that i dont enjoy those happy moments, of course i do.
but after that period of happiness, when you're alone in your room and darkness wraps around you,
its another different story.

i dont know wads going on but somehow these few days, (maybe even long before that)
our relationship seem really strained.
like everyone's competing to say the funniest things,
to get the wildest reactions...
like we've suddenly become clowns, and lost ourselves.

eww i hate ants. Arr!

for surely a rose by any other name would smell just as fragrant...?

she's not here @

4:23 PM

Monday, September 03, 2007

okay. what am i doing awake at this hour.?
haha i am sneezing my nose away, i am feeling bored.
sooo, i took some quiz from nada's blog!
Your Personality is Very Rare (ENTP)

Your personality type is optimistic, curious, enthusiastic, and open.

Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 5% of all men.
You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.
How Rare Is Your Personality?
Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve
Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.
What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog
You Are 49% Perfectionist

No one would call you a perfectionist, but you definitely have a side of you that strives to be perfect.
Try to see your mistakes as learning experiences, and don't be so hard on yourself when you screw up!
Your Birthdate: May 5

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others.
Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy.
Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas.
Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges.

Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower

Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom

Your power color: Tangerine

Your power symbol: Ace

Your power month: May




she's not here @

3:33 AM


long time since i blogged, i've got com hoggers in my home.
haha so i didnt go back to pri sch afterall.
geez. sad, i was, cos my fave teacher was retiring!
and i didnt go see her. T.T

yes, my fave teacher's ms yeo, the one who let me sleep in class. ;)

*zzzzz.....*
she stands in front of me and waves her hands. "hello.?"
i continue sleeping anyway.
after like ten million years, i was wondering eh how come i am sleeping so peacefully and awoke.
she stares at me and grins. "good morning."
i mumbled. "oh yeah.. morning, sorry.."
she's still smiling. "do you need to go wash your face.?"
"ermm... no need." i was embarrassed, one never sleeps in the class of the teacher you respect.
"no, go wash your face."
i scratched my head. "no, its okay i'm awake now really."
she stares at me and narrows her eyes.
3 seconds passed.
i got up from the chair. "okay." and hurried out of the room.

***
when i return, she enlightens me.
"do you know why i allowed you to sleep.?"
i gave her a sheepish grin.
"well thats because, there was no point in forcing you to stay awake."
i raised an eyebrow.
"you wouldnt be absorbing anything anyway, there was no difference," she shrugs.
"further more, if i forced you to stay awake, you would feel sleepy drg the next lesson as well and wouldnt be able to concentrate for subsequent lessons."
"if i allow you to sleep now, at least you would be fresher for the next lesson." she concluded.

i stared in mute amazement.
god, is she the coolest woman i have ever seen.

***

we(me jolyn ly khai) went to watch hairspray instead,
it was good. :D haha pardon my lack of vocab.
i was falling asleep everywhere lah i swear i didnt mean it.
jolyn was supposed to come stay over, but i fell asleep!!!
so she couldnt come over.
JOLYN, I AM REALLY SORRY!!!zzz!

YTD: went to watch 1408, that horror show.
zzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzomggGGG!!!!
it was fucking scary, honest!!!
arrgghhh.
worst, its not that things pop out and scare you, you scream ahhh.
this stupid show scares you right from the core, you want to scream and let it all out but you cant cos there's nothing to scream about! zzz!
damn hardcore... geezers... *phew*

TODAY: went to roam about singapore's more laidback retreats.
dempsey hill, sunset way... etc etc
really pretty suburbans away from the hustle bustle concrete jungle.. :D
there, you forget about the word "busy". heehee
ahhh, oh sweet lovely nostalgia.
rustic rooftops, old ancient trees.
speckled with vintage antic stores, cafe's, restaurants, quiet lounges, B&J!
haha great places to just chill out, relax, do nothing. ;)
singapore should have more of these places.

who wants to go kite-flying with me next saturday.?? :D
(as in literally fly a kite)
eheheheh


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she's not here @

12:57 AM