how do i put this. how do i begin to explain this.. i would like to find a picture to describe it but where does one go to find such pictures? the numbness that flows with my blood and circulates throughout my body. brain and head and heart and limbs the fluid- my soul- leaking out of the windows of my wounds i might go to flickr and search: wreckage, storm, chaos, bones or i don't know, blank.. or i could stay very very still, halt the movements of the muscles on my face and my lungs as it expands and my heart as it beats. "throw your watches off the roof to cast your ballot for Eternity outside of Time"- i'm talking about Ginsberg, of course. who could string nice-looking words together just as well? not me. you could, almost, but i saw right through you after the fourth time so now there's nothing left but empty, empty words. words as empty as my eyes and the sky and the space between your lips and your heart. yes it took me so long. i'm scared, but who would hold me in their arms? who could hold me in their arms in my mind/heart it is a riot and also a stalemate. be careful of that running thread along the seam it's too late to trade for a new [body] now, live with it.
she's not here @
11:44 PM
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Cut the bonds with the moon and let the dogs gather Burn the gauze in the spoon and suck the poison up and bleed
Shut the door to the moon and let the birds gather Play no more with the fool and let the souls wander and bleed
from the soul
- happy april shit's day
she's not here @
9:06 AM
THERE'S A BLUEBIRD IN MY HEART THAT WANTS TO GET OUT BUT I'M TOO TOUGH FOR HIM, I SAY, STAY DOWN,
DO YOU WANT TO MESS ME UP?
Came a time, when every star fall brought you to tears again
Bookworm
Currently Reading:
A Confederacy of Dunces
~ John Kennedy Toole
On the Road (again)
~ Jack Kerouac
Wishbone
my greatest wish would be to wake up in the morning everyday and just enjoy a yummy breakfast at a quiet cafe, tea, soft light, a good book..
or to wake up in a different suburb, an actual countryside this time, to have a home at the end of the world.