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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

You read me like an open book. And for a moment, confusion, I couldn't decide if I was glad or ashamed.
Half of me wants to lie in your embrace while the other half wants to put an arms length in between us.
Would I be safer giving myself to you or to stay in my own shell?
I feel queasy and nauseated, underwater again and again I always feel like I'm underwater
You look at me, expectant of a reply, but what if I simply couldn't give one what then?
Yesterday was a day filled with love.
But don't let me get used to it, when I start to expect it or want it by then it will be too late.
When I start to recognize it's absence it will be too late.

she's not here @

2:40 PM

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

been grieving over the loss of a very close friend.
not that this person had passed away, but in essence it's the same thing, he had died in my life. of course i had seen this coming, like a wave rolling in from afar, but this doesn't lessen the intensity with which it hit me.
now just a profound sadness stacking lead weight in my heart.
i will never get used to this.

peeling off scabs to old wounds so they bleed afresh again.


she's not here @

12:32 AM